42

THE seeds of my love of all things sci and fi were planted when I was just a nipper.

When I wasn't playing football or kiss-chase with girls (Not football with girls - they were usually too good for me), I was watching or acting out Star Wars or Space 1999 with my mates, using the figures, the toys and usually digging up huge swathes of my grandparents' front garden.

I don't play football anymore and only dig up gardens if I absolutely have to, but I am always all over any sci-fi news that's out there, and this past few days has seen two massive announcements.

The first was that a new Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book will be coming out and the second was the return of Red Dwarf.

Both formed major parts of my growing up, first by watching and reading Hitchhikers (and the other books). I now know never to be without my towel, how to fly, not to panic, what to order if I ever dine at Milliways and the answer to life, the universe and everything.

I was older when the Boys from the Dwarf came on the

 scene, and while it didn't have the wider cultural influence or resonance of Hitchhikers, it was still very funny - Rimmer's space corps directives, unrumbling, Brett Riverboat, Smegheads ..

But should they come back?

In Red Dwarf's case, absolutely. After all, the original cast are all onboard, as is writer Rob Naylor and the way it ended means every fan of the show would like to see new stuff.

For Hitchhiker's, I am not so sure, but I am willing to see whether Eoin Colfer - whose Artemis Fowl books I like - can pull it off.

To begin with, he must have balls of steel to take over from Douglas Adams, by my reckoning a genius of the first order and a true sci-fi renaissance man, working on Doctor Who, computer games, radio and even appearing in Monty Python, funnily enough in episode 42.

Those are mighty big shoes to fill, shoes packed with fantastically funny and original ideas, really stupendously huge items of footwear that you'd have to evict an old lady and her family from before putting on. 

In short, I'd have thought, a daunting challenge for a writer.

On top of that, people care for all things Hitchhiker's with a deep passion, and fiddling around with that kind of love is fraught with difficulties. Just ask George Lucas.

If he doesn't quite manage it, then we will always have the other six, nice try Eoin, so long and thanks for all the fish. Or something.

If he does somehow do it, I will happily stand corrected and the first round of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are on me. 

Starburst memories

RECENTLY, my friend Cheryl handed me a large plastic bag and said, 'you'll enjoy these'.

Putting aside my concerns about said bag I had a look and she was right - inside was a large collection of Starburst magazines, from the 1980s.

Looking back now - where full colour production on glossy paper is the norm - it is amazing how shoddy they looked, with only the occasional colour page and very basic design.

However what they lacked in looks they made up for in content, with great access to the shows and films of the day. I have picked out a few highlights to share with you.

1. The earliest one

The more things change, the more they stay the same, as shown by this 1978 mag (issue nine, just 50p) trumpeting the new Lord of the Rings film - in this case a cartoon instead of the Peter Jackson Oscarfest.

The man behind it, the uninspiringly named Ralph Bakshi, is quoted as saying live action would be a total disaster. "Where do you get live action hobbit, elves and orcs? The answer is, of course, that you can't. Also a live action version of LOTR would cost at least $30m!"

As it turned out - more than two decades later - it would cost considerably more, just for Orlando Bloom's hairdressing bill, but the cartoon still had a certain charm.

I went to watch this at the cinema as a kid and while I didn't know what was going on, I still remember it fondly, with the characters traced over live actors, a groundbreaking technique for the time, which looked like it had ben done by blind amputees on crack.

2) Battlestar frustration

The mag contains some incredibly ill judged predictions - like saying Sam Jones (Flash Gordon) would make it big as The Highwayman, a futuristic lawman who drove a truck that turned into a helicopter, or to watch out for Split Second, starring Rutger Hauer and Kim Cattrall - he on his way to his own section of the bargain basement bin in Blockbusters and she slumming it before Sex and the City.

However, it was right on the money about Battlestar Galactica, the original series. Now I loved this - still do - but the mag takes a more critical tone, saying most of its good ideas where wasted by formulaic plotting and characterisation.

"And yet, derivative though it was, the original concept of BSG had been rich with promise and possibilities."

How right they were, although we had to wait for years - and the absultely awful Battlestar 80 - to find that out. Still gotta love Starbuck though!

3) Superman

You don't need to be a student in film history to know that Superman Four was a pile of crap. It was filmed in Milton Keynes for god's sake, had terrible plotting, dreadful special effects and even worse characters - Lenny Luthor anyone?

And then there was Nuclear Man, played by Mark Pillow, which was apt as the film sent everyone to sleep. As bad as this film was, he was the worst thing in it by a mile, which is some achievement.

God bless Starburst then, for doing their best to big it up as the latest epic.

By the next edition though, it was calling it a superflop, which was spot on. 

A hole in the screen would have had more impact than Pillow, said reviewer Alan Jones, while the special effects 'reduce Superman to a cereal box freebie being waved in front of a camera'. Ouch.

4) Jet - oooooooh!

Remember the original Gladiators? If you do, then you must remember Jet, the fantastically attractive one who made a whole generation of men feel a bit funny, like they were climbing the ropes in PE.

God, she was gorgeous, and was an undoubted highlight of Saturday night telly.

Which makes it all the more surprising that an earlier appearance by Diane Youdale didn't take off - the She Wolf of London in 1990.

The Anglo-American production cast her as a Yank student who turns into a werewolf, but is struggling to find a cure.

Although anything that allowed me to look at Jet doing stuff would have been great, it sounds like a pile of shit dreamed up by Alan Partridge, alongside Monkey Tennis.

There were apparently 20 episodes of it, but I can't remember it finding the light of day, more's the pity.

Still, Diane's time in the spotlight would come, on TV and in numerous adolescent boys' sexual fantasies.

Gladiators ... ready!! And all hail Starburst!!

Does Star Wars still matter?

IT seems almost sacriligious to write those words, but I feel I have to ask the question (so I did, on Ask500, as you can see below. Click here to vote).

Time was, anything to do with Star Wars would have me reaching for my lightsabre (not in THAT way, double entendre fans). I still love the original films, enjoy the expanded universe novels and games like KOTOR, and loved Charles Ross's one man show when it came to Liverpool.

I mean, come on - what sci-fi fan hasn't dreamed of flying the Millennium Falcon with Han and Chewie, or being a Jedi Knight?

But for all the good stuff, we have had the prequel trilogy, the Clone Wars films and the latest offering, the Force Unleashed.

The films all bombed and early reviews of the game are not great - certainly not as great as they should be given its premise is kicking people's ass with the force.

On top of that, when I watched Star Wars for the first time with my 8-yr-old son, his reaction was a distracted 'meh'.

So, is it over? Answer the question and we will try to find out.

STOP PRESS: It appear people are still bothered about Star Wars - by a margin of two to one on my Ask500 poll. For me, the jury is still out - I think they have to produce something special to win me back.

It is a fact that the best Star Wars stuff in recent years has been produced away from the Skywalker Ranch, like Robot Chicken and KOTOR. Go to it Lucasarts!!

Behold, La Princess of Liverpool

WHAT you see below is a Dipity timeline of La Princess's visit to Liverpool, created by my recent guest blogger (and, I think, secret geek) Alison Gow.

Now the spider is gone, it sometimes seems wrong that we will never see her again, but while she was here, she lit up the city and its people with excitement and wonder.

Enjoy these and remember the whole remarkable weekend.

La Gow on La Princess

MY FRIEND and colleague (and fluent French speaker, as I now know), Alison Gow, graciously agreed to guest blog for me on La Princess's giant spider tour of Liverpool 2008.

Using the same keen intellect that has already plotted out the future of the media for the next 400 years on her own - fantastic - blog - she submitted this great post, plus that picture. If you like, you can follow its progress today on the Liverpool Daily Post live blog here. Enjoy!

It was, quite simply, one of the most astonishing magic tricks I have ever seen.

The giant mechanical spider stalking through Liverpool city centre, with human operators clinging to its legs and abdomen, ceased to be a vast feat of engineering and simply...lived.

No illusionist has ever pulled off quite such a feat - I completely and voluntarily suspended disbelief and fell under the spell of La Princess.

She was beautiful - moving with weird smoothness, forelegs pawing the air as she came up Water Street on Saturday afternoon to cheers and gasps. There were even some tears, not from small frightened children (I guess they have seen far worse on Dr Who) but from adults moved beyond belief by the spectacle.

I stood on the corner of Castle Street, opposite the Town Hall, and watched one of her operators prankishly maneuver a spider leg to high-five a teenage girl - she was so excited she could barely speak; I was astonished by the precision and grace (and by the girl's nerve - what if it had misjudged? Emo pate I suspect).

La Princess moves with music; accompanied by musicians she seems to dance her way through packed city streets, following the beat with her forelegs.

As she rounded the corner and set off down Castle Street there was an audible sigh of sadness - and then a general rush of humanity to follow her.

She had some competition - a giant poster of Billie Piper in her scanties (yes, Rose wearing not much... deep breaths chaps!) - but neither the Bad Wolf herself or Liverpool One's shops just around the corner could compete with a spider that danced, sprayed water over the crowds, brought her own travelling orchestra and, to cap it all, was at the centre of a huge smoke show.

The spider in the smoke was simply breathtaking - the silhouette of her limbs and abdomen was all that was visible and it truly looked as though a vast arachnid from a distant past (or perhaps a far future?) had come to Liverpool.

Words and photos don't really convey the magic of La Princess; I can understand now why the company behind her, La Machine, has an international following - groupies who travel across the world to see their shows.

For me, nothing else Culture Year has to offer can top a giant spider bathing in Salthouse Dock, dancing outside the Town Hall or climbing Concourse House.

La Princess - c'est magnifique.

Told you she was good!

Web-tastically amazing!!!

I HAVE just got back from watching La Machine go through its paces in Liverpool. I got some video on my phone, which are above and below, and some pictures too, which you can see here on Flickr.

In the pouring rain, it was a fantastic sight - one of the greatest things I have ever seen in my life. (You can see my reaction in a picture of an overexcited me on the right, caught by one of my Liverpool Echo photographer colleagues, Jason Roberts)

If you looked at La Princess, then you could see the operating crew and the hydraulics - of course you could.

But when it moved, everyone there was swept up in a fantastic, joyous and thrilling collective experience - THE GIANT SPIDER WAS MOVING!!!!

Every aspect of it was perfect - the legs, the hear, the jaws - they were all so other, so alien, so arachnid, that any disbelief was suspended totally. Add in the music, the fireworks, the water cannons, the snowstorm - and you have a once in a lifetime experience which I feel privilaged to have witnessed.

And this was only the beginning!!!!

Giant Spider Discovered in Liverpool (with new pictures)

IT just appeared overnight, poised halfway up a building in Liverpool city centre.

Some say it came up from the sewers, while others have heard that scientists are being rushed in to study the creature, but no-one knows what it will do next or how much danger it poses.

The building has been cordoned off, and there is an atmosphere of fear throughout the centre - where are the army? And is the creature friendly, or will it attack?

OK, that's enough of that - this is the latest creation of La Machine, after London's Sultan's Elephant in 2006.

The 50ft tall mechanical spider, called La Princess, is set to mesmerise the city for the next few days, as part of the Capital of Culture year. I checked it out for myself and got some pics on my mobile phone of the spider in the searchlights, positioned - the 'scientists' say - to keep it alert and stop it from laying eggs!

I know what is coming, but have been sworn to secrecy over the details. (Everyone now knows it will be walking around the city - I mean, come on!! How cool is that?)

Suffice to say that as a sci-fi geek, I couldn't be more excited if David Tennant and the Tardis suddenly materialised in my office.

If you can. get to Liverpool this weekend - it is going to be awesome!

You can find out more by linking to here. The pictures came from my good friends at the Liverpool Echo.